Dark In My Imagination

The XX

And there was a thought that he'd give up anything for this. Anything and everything, just to lie here and feel like the universe and everything in it was complete.

I missed you. I missed you a lot.

Interdependence

Illusions

Lone Peace

I'm feelin' electric tonight
Cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight

Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore 

Venus and Mars

Every woman has a male (Mars) energy inside of her. Just as every man has a female (Venus) energy inside of him.
The placement of Venus in a woman’s chart shows you how that woman needs to be loved. For example, if a woman has Venus in Gemini, she likes lots of communication. She operates from needing a mental connection. If it is in Leo, she needs dramatic expressions of love, and some degree of luxury for good measure. Each Zodiac sign signifies a different approach to the woman’s basic love nature. 

For a man, his Venus shows you what type of female he is attracted to. So, if he has Venus in Scorpio, he needs someone who is comfortable with his eroticism.  If he has Venus in Libra, he wants a woman who is very refined and classy. You can see how useful this information is! If you are not feeding your partner’s basic love nature (which might be very different from your own) then things can get rocky. 

Mars in a woman’s chart shows you what type of man turns her on. If a woman has Mars in Aries, she needs a fiery athletic man. If she has Mars in Pisces, she requires a man who is soft and gentle.    

Always remember, Mars represents male energy and how one moves forward in life. Venus represents the female energy and how we want to express love. 

Your Mars, both in sign and aspects, also shows how your sexual energy is stimulated.

I mentioned that Mars in a woman’s chart shows what type of man she is physically attracted to.  Mars in a man’s chart will show how he will want to assert his masculinity, and impress someone.  For example, take Mars in Gemini in a man’s chart.  How might someone like this try to impress you?  In a Gemini way!  He’d love to use words, and his intellect, to cleverly seduce you.  If a man has Mars in Leo, he might try to impress you in a dramatic Leo style, such as, “Let’s go to the Four Seasons for dinner!”  So remember that Venus has more to do with your emotional needs and Mars is more about your physical needs.

 

Ja olet elossa

"Kriisiä toisensa jälkeen. Mieli muuttuu kuin tuuliviiri. Usein tuntuu ettet tiedä kuka olet. Muut ihmiset näyttävät silmissäsi joko pahoilta tai hyviltä, välimaastoa ei ole, kaikki on niin mustavalkoista. Tuntuu, että olet usein joko ahdistunut, masentunut tai vihainen. Vasta painoksi taas impulsiivinen ja vauhdikas. Ääripäitä. Takerrut ihmisiin joko täysin tai työnnät heidät mahdollisimman kauas itsestäsi. Ristiriitoja on joka puolella. Muistisi on alkanut pätkiä. Olet hämmentynyt ettet pysty muistamaan yksinkertaisiakaan asioita samalla tavalla kuin ennen. Kaadat viskiä taas kurkusta alas, hetken ajan haluat vain unohtaa. Humalassa kaikki on helpompaa. Kun viina on tarpeeksi noussut päähäsi isket tämän illan säädön. Harrastat merkityksetöntä seksiä, joka sillä hetkellä tuntuu hyvältä sekä hauskalta. Jälkeen päin rankaiset itseäsi taas siitä. Olosi tuntuu sietämättömältä sekä yksinäiseltä jälleen. Huomaat taas pian löytäväsi itsesi hänen syleilystä. Miten päädyt aina tähän vain uudestaan?"

"Maailmasi näyttää valoisalta pitkästä aikaa. Kuin olisit herännyt pitkästä talviunesta. Aikaa on kulunut jo yli vuosi. Miten päädyit pohjalta takaisin elävien kirjoihin? Kysyt sitä varmasti itseltäsi usein ja tiedät myös siihen vastauksen. Kaiken sen ajan kun välttelit ihmisiä ettet tulisi hylätyksi ja tunsit itsesi yksinäiseksi, et kuitenkaan ollut yksin. Sinulla oli aina se yksi ihminen vierelläsi, joka menisi vaikka läpi tulen, kiven ja jään pelastaakseen sinut." 

"Näe minut, minä olen todellinen minäsi, joka puhuu sinulle. Kuule minut, minä kerron sinulle totuuden. Usko minua, koska minä en koskaan hylkäisi sinua niin kuin sairautesi, joka istuttaa sinulle vääristyneitä ja myrkyllisiä ajatuksia tajuntaasi. Löydä oma sisäinen äänesi. Pystyt ihan mihin vain jos vain uskot itseesi."

~ Ja olet elossa

Sensitive

"Draco is the kind of person who would play his cards close to his chest when it comes to expressing feelings, but Harry on the other hands knows him so well it wouldn't be an issue for him to see the real feelings Draco has."  

The air shifts as you come up behind me. I sense the warmth of your hand before it comes to rest tentatively on my shoulder. I should shrug you off, but I don't. I take what comfort I can from a simple touch, though I'll never let you see it.


"It was like one of his fantasies come true, which made it feel less than real but more than perfect."

Castor and Pollux

The symbol for Gemini is a pair of twin boys.

The model for Gemini is the twin sons of the Spartan queen, Leda - Pollux and Castor. The two, despite being twins, have different fathers, with a peculiar back-story. Zeus was in love with the beautiful queen Leda, so he transformed into a swan to seduce her. They made love, making Leda pregnant with Zeus’ son. However, she also slept with her husband the same night, leading to her being pregnant with another son. Thus, Pollux was born an immortal demigod with the blood of Zeus, while Castor was born a mere human. Despite this, the two had exceptional brotherly love for each other and would do everything together. 

Pollux possessed great physical strength, while Castor possessed great ingenuity. But one day, Castor died from a fight,causing great despair for Pollux. No matter how hard he tried, he could not kill himself due to his immortality. He cried out to Zeus: “If I cannot be with my brother, then I do not want to be immortal". Zeus, taking pity on the two and admiring their love for each other, offered to halve Pollux’s immortality and share it with Castor. This is how they became a bright constellation in the night sky, side-by-side.

Gemini is a dual sign and needs focus in order to resolve the apparent dual natures of their being, as illustrated in the myth of Castor and Pollux. It is only apparent: this is not like the situation with Pisces where the two fish are bound together and swimming in different directions. Although one is an equestrian and the other a pugilist, the Gemini twins are inseparable and move as one.

Adrenalize Me

"It is very endearing - letting someone look into your heart from behind."  

"To know it is to be fearless, and to know it is to be full of love." 

Such words..

"It was not a one way thing. If you want to play the blame game then you get to take half of the responsibility."

"In that moment it became clear that the caring was now a two way process; both of them having scars for the other to acknowledge and soothe."

1. Se mitä annat eteenpäin, tulee takaisin. Aina.

2. Kirjoitat itse oman tarinasi. Älä anna muiden kirjoittaa sitä.

3. Se mitä joku teki sinulle menneisyydessä, ei enää vaikuta nykyhetkessä, ellet itse anna sen vaikuttaa.

4. Kun ihmiset näyttävät sinulle todellisen karvansa, usko ensimmäisestä kerrasta.

5. Murehtiminen on ajanhukkaa. Käytä energiasi murehtimisen sijaan huolta aiheuttavien asioiden muuttamiseen.

6. Se mihin uskot on merkityksellisempää kuin se, mitä toivot tai mistä unelmoit. Sinusta tulee se, mihin uskot.

7. Jos ainoa rukous, jonka koskaan lausut on kiitos, se on tarpeeksi.

8. Onni jota tunnet on suoraan verrannollinen rakkauteen, jota jaat ympärillesi.

9. Epäonnistuminen on tienviitta, joka osoittaa sinut oikeaan suuntaan.

10. Jos teet päätöksen, joka on vastoin kaikkien muiden mielipiteitä, maailma ei siihen kaadu.

11. Luota vaistoosi. Intuitio ei valehtele.

12. Rakasta itseäsi ja opettele sitten rakastamaan muita.

13. Valitse ammatti, jota kohtaan tunnet intohimoa.

14. Rakkaus ei satu. Se tuntuu todella hyvältä.

15. Jokainen päivä on mahdollisuus aloittaa alusta.

16. Jos epäilet jotain, älä ryntää mihinkään.

17. Jos et tiedä mitä tehdä, pysähdy paikoillesi. Vastaus selviää sinulle kyllä.

18. Ongelmat eivät kestä ikuisesti.

19. Kaikki menee joskus ohi.

20. Ole rehellinen itsellesi kaikessa mitä teet.

Got That Summertime

Järkemme on luonteeltaan tutkija. Se tarkkailee kaiken aikaa ympäristöään, arvioi sitä, suorittaa kokeita, arvioi, muuttaa jotain, tarkkailee, arvioi... Se ei oikeasti tunne mitään - se vain analysoi. Myös tunteita.

Summertime Sadness ~ Lana Del Rey

~ I just wanted you to know, That, baby, you're the best. ~

My Obsession

"Hän ei yleensä antautunut näin paljoa toisen käsittelyyn, mutta välillä oli mukava tehdä  poikkeus. Ja se tuntui hyvältä. Antautua ja olla haavoittuva. Se teki hänestä ihmisen, samalla kun toinen teki hänestä elävän. 

Kynnet painautuivat tuon elämänlähteen selkään ja jättivät merkin. Merkin, että kaikki tietäisivät kenelle tuo mies kuuluu."

“What I love, I hang on to. With both hands, and my teeth, if I can get a good grip.”

“Even if it doesn’t love you?”

“Even then. Especially then. Anybody can love something that loves you back. The other way takes a certain amount of effort.”

Captured

"Inhimillisessä kosketuksessa oli ollut sävähdys, kielletyn oloista iloa. Hän viipyi siinä, ei pystynyt karistamaan tuntemuksen haamua kehostaan. Oli kuin heidän välilleen olisi pakotettu hiuksenhieno yhteys, vahvistaen heidän uutta yhteisymmärrystään joksikin muuksi, joksikin mitä hän ei aivan kyennyt määrittelemään, joksikin mikä sai hänet helposti ärsyyntyväksi ja tasapainottomaksi. Joksikin, minkä ei olisi ikinä pitänyt olla olemassa heidän välillään." - Eclipse 

Shades Of Grey

It's funny somehow,

You're so opposite from me

You are the visionary of black to my delusory white

Which is a contradiction

In itself

You the are the authentic white

And I am the undeniable black.

Or so they say.

But it's more

Complicated then that.

Far more complicated.

The first time was a fluke

We were fighting

As always

And somehow

Some way

My lips brushed yours

And never

In all my life

Had I ever felt

Anything like that.

Like the calm before a storm

And the wildness during it

And the serenity afterwards.

An accident

---an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap.---

The second time

Was another fluke

Another accident

But it felt like before…

Like waiting for something wonderful

And then receiving it

And then basking in the outcome.

But

Still it was only

A mishap

---an unfortunate accident.---

The third time though

Everything blurred

And it was fast

But incredibly slow

Something that will always

Go on

But ended far to quickly.

You were so careful.

Like I would break.

A spark of lips

And a trace of skin

Clothes pulled off as if on fire

And then time slowed

And if the world were a "movie"

The camera angle would change

And it would circle around us

Taking in everything

That only makes sense when you experience it.

You pulled me to you

And we kissed.

---Oh god but how we kiss.

Like the world is ending.

Be it rough of soft

Biting of lush.

Always like the world

Will fall away.---

And then I was on my back,

Which is odd

For who I am.

But it felt right.

Right there.

You made me feel

Dominated

But not less.

Like your equal.

Somehow.

You're so bloody

White that way.

And you moved down my body

And licked

And bit

Sucked and

Kissed.

My eyebrows

My eyelids

My cheeks

My chin

My neck

My chest

My stomach

My hips

My thighs

My knees

My calves

My ankles

---who knew that would be so sensual---

And even the arch of my foot.

Throw back my head and

Gasping

Didn't seem to be enough

But that was all I could think to do.

The

Whole

Time.

And then you moved back up to

My finger-tips

And

My knuckles

---each one---

My palm

The back of my hand

Wrists

Forearm

Soft skin of my elbows

---turned out to be an stimulating spot for me---

My biceps

And my ears.

Merlin but my ears.

Were you to stay there long enough

I was certain I would have come

Right then and there.

Your hands gripped my shoulders

And hauled me up

---My back doing that

Lovely

Feminine

Arching move

You seem so very found of.---

My mouth sought yours,

And was found.

Movement.

A gentle caress

Of the most strong muscle in the human body.

You nibbled at my

---soft pink –your words not mine---

Lower lip

And sucked it into your mouth.

---To this day you still swear nothing tastes sweeter then I do---

And then,

---Even now I never really feel you there

Not as if your preparing me anyway.---

You were inside of me.

You

The very part of you that makes you

All man.

Was inside of me.

And nothing

---on my oath of whatever you can trust me as---

ever felt, feels, that good.

That wonderful.

That uncomplicated complication.

That primitive modern

Surreal realistic…

…

Feeling.

My legs on your shoulders,

You gripping my thighs

Kissing my calf now and again

Sometimes as if it were my mouth.

Crystal sweat rolling down your chest,

The fire glinting off of it

As if to reflect it as

The most precious of stones

Or liquid clear life.

Whimper

Moan

Breath hitching

Crying out

Groaning.

Useless words

For an act of

Pricelessness.

Golden skin,

Blazing eyes

And a smile

That I am certain had been hiding for years.

And it's returned

Gracing a face ---my face--- that was certain it would never grace.

Your throat arches,

That pretty smile

Changes

To an expression of almost lost bliss

Your eyes close

And

A word spills from your lips

One word

And it's my name.

And then

An explosion

Shattering

Blasting into a million pieces

Knowing you'll catch every piece

And put me back together.

But not in the order of who I was

Some one better.

Some one more.

No more pure.

But even then I knew

I was just more.

Everytime after that,

It was different.

More experince,

More knowledge

Just more.

Never enough.

And the more there is.

The more we know.

And the more I find

There is no

visionary of black

Or

delusory white

Nor is there

An authentic white

Or an

undeniable black.

No.

We are the very

Definition

--- answer, characterization, clarification, explanation, individuation, interpretation, key, representation, solution, translation---

Of

Shades of Gray.

We are,

The
Shades of Grey.