Born To Tempt

Astrology of attraction

The position of Mars by sign in a woman's chart does tend to offer some clues as to what she will find attractive in a man. This is because Mars reveals what turns us on to some degree, and represents traditionally masculine qualities.

The reason for treating Venus in men's and women's chart differently is based on the idea that women may tend to "disown" the qualities of Mars in her own chart. Since the energies of Mars have to go somewhere, when a woman doesn't "own", or identify with, her Mars, the energies would be projected onto the men he meets and relates with. Similarly, men are thought to more easily relate to and "own" Mars qualities. 

If a woman's Mars is in Aries, she is often attracted to a strong, independent, and forthright man, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, confident, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy men are not usually the most attractive men to these women, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types. Men who don't beat around the bush, who state what they want, and who display a certain level of confidence are ideal.

If a woman's Mars is in Taurus, she is often attracted to men who possess a stable, secure, and very strong aura about them. Meat-and-potatoes types are definitely these women's "cup of tea". Unstable, overly intellectual, or "flaky" men are simply not what these women would define "real men". These women like their men simple to please, traditionally masculine,  and strong. They often are especially turned on by men who work with their hands (as opposed to "suits"), men who can build things, and sexually simple but sensual men.  

If a woman's Mars is in Gemini, intelligence ranks very high on her list of ideal qualities in a man. An athletic or tomboyish look, sometimes on the slim side, is often preferred. Wittiness is a huge turn-on for these women. Versatility, liveliness, and playfulness are qualities in men that these women find devastatingly attractive. They're not especially impressed with what they might consider "less evolved" types of men who display more typical, or traditional, masculine traits. Depressed or boring types won't do. These women want to be stimulated, and their brains are their biggest sexual organs.

If a woman's Mars is in Cancer, she may prefer the "sensitive type" of man who is compassionate, sensitive, and protective. These women sometimes are attracted to temperamental sorts, finding moodiness in a man rather intriguing. They want men with "layers" (remember Shrek?). However, they are not into the type of "sensitive" men that Mars in Pisces women are most attracted to. In fact, they generally want men who are strong and traditionally masculine. Generally, these women prefer men who are physically strong or at least look that way--remember that they love to feel protected.

If a woman's Mars is in Leo, she may be attracted to men who are proud, outgoing, and perhaps even gaudy. Aloofness or a dignified, confident aura is usually appealing to these women. These women are more inclined to enjoy men who possess a rather bold, confident manner--and style! Playfulness and fun are very important to these women, and the uptight type or overly serious man is not going to do it for them. Stinginess is a huge turn-off, too. These women want their men generous, dignified, and confident. These women do want their men to be a little possessive and jealous, as it makes them feel more alive, wanted, and attractive.

If a woman's Mars is in Virgo, an appealing man to her is usually an understated, rather simple appearance without too much glamour or ostentatiousness. Healthy, natural, and clean are most appealing physical qualities, and a certain amount of intelligence as well as a modest, sensible approach to life. These women are turned off by men who are overly confident, bossy, or unkind. They are looking for perceptive men who are kind and helpful. Competency is important, but these women aren't big on men who are show-offs. A quietly competent aura is best.

If a woman's Mars is in Libra, she is most attracted to men with understated charm, good manners, and a pleasing and balanced  appearance. Coarseness or rudeness is often a turn-off, and so is independence! These women prefer men who are cooperative and who are willing to please. Romantic men are a huge turn-on, and these women truly appreciate classy sorts.

If a woman's Mars is in Scorpio, a complicated, dark, powerful, and passionate man is the biggest turn-on. This woman wants a man with "layers"--one who has depth and is complicated enough to intrigue her. She is especially attracted to men who ooze sensuality, who are perhaps a little dark and mysterious (even brooding), and who have a magnetic and powerful aura. Intensity is a turn-on for these women--flighty, superficial, and indifferent types need not apply! These women generally do enjoy a certain level of possessiveness in a man

If a woman's Mars is in Sagittarius, she is most impressed with a man who is playful, fun, intelligent, and honest. An energetic, happy aura in a man is often most appealing. Joking around is a must, and a huge turn-on for these women! They want to have a good time, and to have long conversations with their men as well. They are not especially attracted to men who are overly groomed, generally don't like too much "decoration" or men who put on airs.  A tousled, casual appearance is just fine with these women--in fact, it's preferred.  A man's status is not of huge interest to these women--they are looking for honest guys whose egos aren't tied up in what they do for a living or how they look.

If a woman's Mars is in Capricorn, she is generally attracted to competent men, perhaps well-established business types or otherwise accomplished men. She doesn't necessarily go for status, but she does want a man who has an aura of competence about him. She is looking for a certain level of security, and is unimpressed with men who are drifters, irresponsible, or flighty. A stable, directed man with goals in life and a responsible, even serious, attitude to life is important to this woman.

If a woman's Mars is in Aquarius, she can be most impressed by men who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of clothes and overall style. She wants an interesting man. He can certainly be handsome, but boring? Hardly. A man with a brain is important, although she won't be attracted to a brainy type. Somebody who is perceptive, a little unconventional, and perhaps somewhat aloof is most attractive. Rigid or boring types simply won't do.

If a woman's Mars is in Pisces, she is often impressed with a man who is sensitive, compassionate, and intriguingly complicated. Lacking in confidence is just fine, and so is a touch of helplessness. A "starving artist" type may be appealing, or a man who is downtrodden in some way, as these women enjoy men who have a distinct soft side. The strong, independent types are not turn-ons for these women.


Venus in Leo

When Venus in Leo people are in love, they are proud, even boastful. This position of Venus can turn humble Virgo Suns or retiring Cancer Suns into somewhat demanding lovers. Venus in Leo loves to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special. They are warm, generous, and even grand. Though really quite loyal to their partners (remember that love is THE most important thing in Leo's life), they thrive on attention from the opposite sex. Be prepared for their displays: they will tell you about any advances members of the opposite sex make on them. Remember, they're just showing off to you, and it's likely harmless. It's a different story if you do the same, however. That's when you'll hear the lion roar...and, no doubt, you'll want to keep these cats purring. Venus in Leo wants to appear experienced in love, even if they have little or no experience whatsoever!

Venus in Leo men and women have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you'll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that's lost its spark. They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part. 

Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger. It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you're willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are. Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area. They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well. Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

Cancer Traits

I've found Cancer Mercury sometimes *sound* rational (a ploy not unlike a crab waving his claws at you to tell you to stand back)but if you challenge their reasoning, they retreat quickly or make passive-aggressive attacks in self-defense. The two MAIN Cancer self-defense tactics are 1) being dismissive and 2) being sarcastic (both traits Cancer shares with its polarity Capricorn). These traits are far worse (it seems) if the Cancer Mercury has a lot of air in their chart, or has strong Mercurial influence otherwise.

One rather admirable trait - at least for me - that stems paradoxically from Cancer Mercury's inability to be direct, is these people often have a great, if not quirky, sense of humor. Just be watchful - they often resort to humor as a indirect way of expressing how they really think without risking being offensive. Some Cancer Mercury's can border on being vicious and mean int heir humor if they have a lot of repressed anger.

And lastly, because Cancer Mercury's prefer to understand through intuition, these people do have a great knack for feeling people out. It helps them cope with Mercury in Cancer's shortcomings (often helping smooth out the rifts caused by their sarcastic/dismissive self-defensive tendencies). This is an immensely sympathetic placement, and may be a little psychic in some people. Of course, in very insecure Cancer Mercury's this becomes another self-defense - they think they *always* know about other people, not realizing, like with any Cancer placement, what they sense is always colored by their own mood and emotions. In other words, it's often OK to take their judgement, even if seemingly accurate at first, with a grain of salt.


It may also be mentioned that the effect of Cancer is to make Mercury sway to the purely passive side. The mind is unusually impressionable, and though the inscriptions thereupon be “writ in water,” yet for the moment they sway the native. There is little real stability in the mind, and yet it falls easily into habit, which may be obstinate if subjected for long periods to a single stress. The position inclines to mental idleness, and any powerful will can easily obtain dominion over the mind of the native by appealing to the senses rather than by argument, which arouses obstinate resistance. All this being peculiarly contrary to the best attributes of mind, we must regard Cancer as one of the less fortunate positions for Mercury.

Another thing with Cancer Mercury is difficulty being direct in communication. You can discuss something with them for hours and never really know what they're thinking about it. Cancer is naturally passive-aggressive - it's priority is self-protection, even if that means self-concealment. Cancer also prefers understanding through intuition and expression through emotion. This can mean they can unbelievably vague in what they say. Cancer Mercury's aren't fond of thinking in ideas or concepts, so their prone to waffle big time if forced to make more rational, non-emotive choices or if they are pushed to say something they *feel* is harsh or blunt (like the truth, for example).


Often thought of as infuriating, Cancer women are rather… misread. It is best that before you proceed with your plans of seduction understand that they need to be understood. At ALL times. They need a partner who is going to understand that they are moody by nature. Though it may sound like they are upset with you, they are simply venting in general. They are sensitive but not only with themselves but to those around them. Some would rather not put the work in and that is fine with them. They are one of those signs that doesn’t need, they have to want.

A Cancer woman is very cut and dry; you can take them or leave them. That being said, it does not mean she is void of passion or emotion. It is quite the contrary. She may just as well be too passionate and emotional. She feels her way through life’s decisions and does not look back. So in order to seduce her, she needs to be in the mood. If she is in no mood to date, you won’t get to even knock on her door.

So how do you get your Cancer woman in the mood? Be direct with your intent. She wants a partner who is not needy or greedy. For all her shyness and general reserve, she admires and appreciates a partner who is confident and forthcoming. If you are less than that and she finds out, you are cut off completely and irrevocably. Once a Cancer woman decides to have a partner in their life, whether it is a booty call situation or a relationship, they take it seriously. They like parameters and would rather not have them changed without being mutually agreed upon.

She will have no problem leaving you behind. It sounds harsh and it is but for all that coldness, they have a burning desire. Cancer women are romantics. Once you get past their crab shell exterior, their interior is a sweet inferno. They love romance and eroticism. She wants to be adored, loved and cared for. If you are looking for more than just a “friends with benefits” relationship then do everything you can to appeal to her emotional side. On your dates she needs to feel as if you see nothing but her. She needs to be secure in knowing that when she is with you, there is nowhere else you would rather be. Slipping in a few white lilies or roses as you are dating will always gain you their favor. Trust me; you want to gain their favor.

Cancer women are about the thought behind the action rather than the action itself. You happen to have purchased a silver bracelet with moons on because she mentioned her natural affinity towards the celestial object. You have shown her you paid attention to what she says. You leave her a good morning note on her car after a date, and it shows you think about her. You surprise her with a candlelight dinner at your place and she will know you want her to get comfortable because you are not going anywhere. The effort will have gained her trust and make her want to be with you more.

She has a somewhat traditional view of dating. She would love to be properly courted. Though do not be surprised if she makes you chase her time and time again. It is how she weeds out the jerks and losers from the keepers. They get fed up and leave. A Cancer woman looks at each potential suitor as a potential partner, a permanent partner. No, she does not expect you to immediately marry her but she would like to know that if she wanted to you would.

She will not expect you to want to marry her so soon in your relationship but you just might find yourself wanting to. Once you gain the affections of a Cancer woman you may not want to leave. They have a both a domestic and maternal streak. No, she will not mother you but you will never have to want for anything at home. She will take care of the things you both need and you will wonder how you ever made it without her. Sometimes it is at this point where things go wrong for the Cancer woman.

They are so supportive that some are taken advantage. As she slowly lets you in, you will see why those walls were up in the first place. Those who have taken advantage of her have scarred her deeply. The wounds may heal but with a Cancer but those scars never fade. This is why it is important to understand her. It sometimes seems as if she is making you pay for someone else’s discretions but that isn’t the case. She has it in her head that the only person who will protect her is herself.

So yes, a Cancer woman is a little bit of work but once you have her it is worth it. Her passion rivals that of her Cardinal cousin Aries. She can be spontaneous and exciting. She would love deep and erotic love making sessions with kisses that make her head spin. You will never have to worry about her straying, Cancer women are fiercely loyal. She won’t leave you high and dry like others left her.


Do not let harsh reality of her life deter you from wanting to be a part of it. She is certainly not letting it hold her back. She continues to move forward and wants someone to move forward with her. Give her a chance; understand her idiosyncrasies and you will be rewarded. You will have an amazing woman that will give you a life full of content and satisfaction. She will give you a relationship that is as exciting as it is stable. You will know a passion that could felt deep down in your bones and you will never forget how loved you are. So go ahead and crack open her shell then enjoy all the sweetness she has inside.

Goldfrapp