Rakkausriippuvuus

Suhde, jonka toisella tai kummallakin osapuolella on erittäin vaikeita ongelmia alkoholin, huumeiden tai tunteidensa käsittelemisen kanssa, on voitu todeta tuhoontuomituksi jo ajat sitten. Taustalla saattaa olla monta on-off-jaksoa, henkistä tai fyysistä väkivaltaa tai pelkästään oivallus siitä, ettei onnellinen yhteiselo tule koskaan mahdolliseksi. Siitäkin huolimatta, että tahtoa jatkaa olisi suunnattoman paljon.

Kaikkia rakastavaisia ei ole luotu elämään saman katon alla tai edes etäsuhteessa. Tämä on kivulias totuus, jonka hyväksyminen myös käytännön toimenpiteiden tasolla voi viedä aikaa. Lisäksi se on erittäin vaikeaa, koska koukussa pitävä ote muistuttaa päihdeongelmaa.

Jos riippuvuus perustuu fysiologiaan, kuten intohimoisissa suhteissa, rakkausriippuvuus on jo päihdeongelma. Psykologinen riippuvuus taas pysyy yllä sosiaalisten ja psykologisten mekanismien voimalla, jotka voivat olla kehittyneet jo lapsuudessa. Etäinen vanhempi opettaa tavoittelemaan etäistä kumppania. Samoin henkisessä väkivallassa voi olla jotain tuttua ja turvallista, vetovoimaista.

Jo kaiken kuvatun valossa ei liene ihme, että suhteen ollessa kuinka haitallinen tahansa, eroaminen aiheuttaa tuskaa. Tai eroprosessiin ei uskalleta edes ryhtyä, sillä ajatus tuon tuskan kohtaamisesta tuntuu pahemmalta kuin välitön ja helppo palkkiovaikutus, jota addiktion eli suhteen ylläpitäminen säännöllisesti tarjoaa.

Rakkaus on kovemman luokan huume ja vieroitus vaatii voimia.

Sormia napsauttamalla ei ole mahdollista päästä yli ihmissuhteesta joka on ollut kaikki kaikessa, mutta ajan kuluessa pakkomielteinen intohimo vaihtuu rauhoittavaksi ymmärrykseksi. Silloin osaat arvostaa aidosti kohtaamistanne, kaikkea sitä mitä entinen kumppanisi sinulle opetti. Myös sitä, että menetit hänet syistä, jotka viikkojen, kuukausien ja vuosien varrella jäsentyvät aina kirkkaammiksi.

Tarina, jota kerrot, muuttuu todellisuudeksesi. Siksi on tärkeää lakata syöttämästä itselle vahingoittavia valheita. Anna uusille ja paremmille mahdollisuuksille tilaa myös tulevaisuuden visioissasi.

Erotuska muistuttaa mekanismeiltaan vieroitusoireiden ohella traumaa. Päättyneeseen suhteeseen liittyvät paikat, ihmiset ja tilanteet laukaisevat helposti ikävältä tuntuvia reaktioita. Keho ja mieli voivat oireilla, syke voi kiihtyä, kurkkua kuristaa, mieliala romahtaa yhtäkkiä. Eroamiselle onkin ominaista tunteiden äärimmäinen aaltoliike. Yhtenä hetkenä vaikuttaa siltä että surut on surtu, pian kuitenkin lohduttomuus valtaa mielen ja rypeminen pakkomielteiden kourissa jatkuu.

Se kuinka korkealla tasolla ihmisen itsekunnioitus ja terve itserakkaus ovat, määrittelee pitkälti sen missä vaiheessa epäonnistunutta suhdeviritelmää tulee toteamus ”Ansaitsen parempaa.” Vahvoilla oleva ihminen ymmärtää syvällisellä tasolla nauttivansa elämästään mieluummin vaikka yksin kuin suhteessa, jossa häntä ei kohdella hyvin. Tämä on terveellistä itseriittoisuutta ja ominaista niille, joita ei pyöritellä miten sattuu.

Erotuskan keskellä voit lohduttautua sillä, että rakkaus joka on tarkoitettu kestämään, kestää jopa eron.

The Rising Signs

Our rising signs are "the windows" through which we see life. They are our eyes; they are how we see life. In other words, they are how we are dressed. They are delicate dresses, and sometimes they act as shields for us. In short, our rising signs are our "outer" personalities.

The personality characteristics we exhibit to protect ourselves against people, events, and traumas, or to manifest ourselves within society, stem from the characteristics of our rising sign. 

“Either exist as you are or be as you look!”

Sometimes, we see people who do not accurately reflect their personas. This is a common attitude for those accustomed, sometimes excessively, to defensive behavior. They cannot manifest their own selves, or they prefer not to do so. Yes, we call the rising sign our outer personality because it is our defensive social mask, but it is also a part of us. Our rising sign reflects our personality or behavioral attitudes as a social being in general. Of course, everyone needs an outer identity, and this is a healthy thing, but we should not exaggerate this at the cost of our own self.

Our rising sign also defines our physical features and appearance, so let’s see how our rising signs affect us in life. According to classical astrology, the ruler of the rising sign is also the ruler of the natal chart, and this is somehow true, but how?

Let’s clarify the issue by drawing a comparison. Our Sun sign is our life purpose, so the Sun in our chart and its natural ruling planet indicate our life purpose. On the other hand, our rising sign and its natural ruler indicate the things that support and nourish that purpose and motivate us to reach it. In short, our purposes stem from our Sun sign, whereas our rising sign determines our tendencies. The rising sign is like an organizer that sets the stage for the life purpose indicated by our Sun sign. When we begin acting on this stage, our strength comes from our rising sign and its ruler. 

What does an Ascendant in Scorpio Reveal? 

Life is a battlefield for Scorpio rising. Everything is a challenge, a matter of life and death.  Good and bad, all their emotions are deeply intensive. They experience all manner of extreme emotions. They can be the happiest of people if everything is as they wished, but they can be the saddest if things do not work out. 

They know how to enjoy life, but unfortunately only when things are on track. They are stable, durable, and patient, and they live in the light of their emotions and intuitions. On the other hand, they are very smart, skeptical, and subtle, and they can see depths that others cannot. 

They have deep eyes and mysterious auras. They can talk about everything while not disclosing anything, because they are so secretive. Their mystery and charisma makes you want to know them. Their ruler is Pluto, which gives them a strong magnetism. They have powerful sex appeal and are passionate in love and sex.

Their mystery means you cannot know their real emotions and ideas. They may seem happy, but they could be struggling inside. Because they don’t like to be weak, they need to be ambitious and powerful to feel good. Leo, which is ruled by the Sun, is at the pinnacle of their charts, so seizing power is always a passion for them. Scorpio rising like to manage and control things. They might even be control freaks. They want to be known in their professions. They are brave. Because Pluto and Mars influence them, they need Venusians around them for their warm, sweet, and relaxing nature. A warrior wants this type of person by his side when he returns from battle.

In relationships, Scorpio rising are attracted to Leo (at the pinnacle of their charts), Taurus (their opposite sign), and Aquarius (the sign in their fourth house of home and family).

Scorpio Rising signs can also be a bit on the paranoid side. They are deliberate and careful communicators, always using caution when they choose their words. They will never give up a secret especially when it involves them. Not only are they secretive, they can have quite an explosive temperament when they are unable to get what they want or are threatened. This rising sign is the physical fighter and can be the most violent of the Zodiac. Because they are so intense and secretive, they have natural tendencies of self destructive behavior. Most others will rarely, or sometimes never, know if a person with Scorpio rising is “self medicating” with drugs or alcohol. They are quite dominant in personality and can be downright mean at times unless there are other planetary placements in their birth charts that are more influential in calming their mean streaks. They make ruthless enemies so it isn’t advisable to cross them.

Those who were born at a time when the Scorpio was rising in the Earth’s eastern sky are inquisitive and like to research to get to the absolute truth. They are extremely deep feeling creatures. Of all the water signs, Scorpio represents ice; cold and hard in appearance with an underflow of turmoil and choppy waters.

They seem to look right through people, seeing through superficiality. This can be quite intimidating to some, and intriguing to others. Scorpio rising people, in their dealings with others, look for answers by reading between the lines. Surface details are discarded when they are getting a feel for people and situations around them. 

Behind your quiet exterior lies a great deal of emotional depth, sensitivity, complexity, and also fierce determination. When you want something you go after it rather quietly but insistently and wholeheartedly - and you usually get it. 

When you commit yourself emotionally to someone, be it friend or lover, you are intensely loyal and devoted to them and you also expect the same kind of unwavering, undying loyalty in return. If you are ever betrayed by someone you care deeply for, you are capable of hating and retaliating with as much fervor as you once loved. Nothing is done halfway. 

Because of your natural reserve, others may see you as something of an enigma. You are quite self-protective and often defensive. You are also very magnetic, especially to members of the opposite sex. 

The Waves Have Come

"You've had my heart since hello, nothing will ever change that. Not distance, not time, not space. Nothing will ever take my heart away from u."

"The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained."

"I think it's pretty impossible to forget someone who was once the reason for the smile on your face. You can't just forget someone like that."

Stars Of Birth

June 20 1991

6:00 PM Time Zone is EEDT

Helsinki, FIN 

Rising Sign is in 11 Degrees Scorpio 

You tend to be quiet, reserved, secretive and, at times, quite difficult to understand. Others notice your deep emotions and feelings and wonder how to draw you out. Stubborn and tough, you fight for any position you believe in. You are very resourceful and formidable when you become angered or upset about something. You enjoy living life at the cutting edge -- for you life must be experienced intensely and totally. Quite courageous, you are willing to take calculated risks. Easily hurt by others, you often strike back with bitter sarcasm. Sensitive and curious, you are concerned with the deeper mysteries of human psychology. Once you have become interested in any subject, you pursue it with total fanaticism.

Sun is in 28 Degrees Gemini 

You have a quick, bright and agile mind, but an extremely short attention span. You love the external, kaleidoscopic aspects of life, but you tend to avoid (and even fear) deep, close emotional involvements. As such, you seem to enjoy travel and sightseeing and generally being "on-the-go." You get quite listless when things around you become static and dull, but your excitement returns whenever you are stimulated by a new idea. Chatty, inquisitive and quite playful, you enjoy practical jokes and games in general. Your moods change quickly and often -- you are very restless and constantly in motion. You are known for your versatility and adaptability. Your vivaciousness enlivens any social gathering.

Moon is in 16 Degrees Libra

Affectionate, warm and friendly, life must be a "beautiful" experience for you. Unpleasantness should be avoided at all costs. You tend to overlook other people's faults and you would rather give in than fight. You are uncomfortable with strangers, but at ease and sociable with friends and associates. Indeed, you would rather socialize than work -- you can use your prodigious charm to avoid unpleasant tasks. You need the support and assistance of another in order to get you started on any new project -- you are not a self-starter. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent (i.e., lazy). Your refined aesthetic sensibilities attract you to music, dance, art and any other cultured activity.

Mercury is in 03 Degrees Cancer

Your emotions tend to rule your thought processes. You have difficulty seeing life objectively. You have an excellent memory, especially about things to which you have formed an emotional bond. You prefer ideas and thoughts that are known and familiar, and therefore tend to dislike fads or radical ideas. The beliefs and traditions of your family and culture are very important to you. Your thinking becomes quite unclear when you are emotionally shaken -- try not to make major decisions when you are upset. Let things calm down first.

Venus is in 13 Degrees Leo

You have a striking, regal appearance and demeanor that attracts others to you. Your friendship is highly sought and you tend to take friendships quite seriously -- you remain loyal and true to those to whom you are attached. For you, love is mixed with pride and respect. Relationships are over when you lose respect for your partner. Be careful of a tendency to relate only to those who make you look good -- the powerful, important and influential. This can lead to arrogance and selfishness, and neither of these qualities becomes you.

Mars is in 14 Degrees Leo

You are a very proud person. Strong, bold, courageous and self-possessed, you love to be the one to initiate significant actions. When people expect a lot of you, you respond positively and will work hard in order to maintain their respect. But when your dignity or pride is threatened, you tend to become sarcastic, arrogant and domineering. Try not to take any challenge or resistance that you meet as a personal affront. You are very stubborn about your right to live your life according to your own principles.

Jupiter is in 12 Degrees Leo

You must be proud of all that you do in order to grow and develop. You enjoy being totally honest and aboveboard and you revel in the admiration and respect you receive from others due to your high- minded, upright way of life. Make sure, though, that your natural tendency to boast and show off is based on your actual accomplishments. Don't fall prey to self-exaggeration or arrogance. You truly do like outrageous spectacles and grand jolly times and will go out of your way to make them a reality.

A Secret Bond

Scorpio Rising

Often, those with Scorpio rising give very little away as to what they are really thinking and feeling. Others cannot be sure of what your true intentions are. You may play your cards very close to your chest, owing to your acute sensitivity to environmental influences. For you, letting others know how sensitive and vulnerable you really are means giving them a kind of power you are not sure you want to give.

You are often extremely sensitive to the underlying emotional currents around you, for this sign is extremely perceptive. You will continually seek to confront the underlying psychological motives in any situation. You will also be constantly aware of others potential to be deceptive, abusive and less than truthful. Your first form of attack then is defence, while you wait for others to reveal who they truly are. This means that you are likely to respond in passionate and turbulent ways to most forms of relationship, and will be especially volatile when an issue of power and its potential misuse is around. Or you will avoid intimacy with anybody if it means you have to let your guard down. You benefit from calm, placid and strong partners who are able to withstand the intensity of your emotional experiences, and your need to work them out on others. For this reason, you can be hard to get close to, as the external emotional protection is very strong, and others feel uncertain as to where you stand. Yet once you have committed your feelings to someone, you are intensely loyal, passionate, giving and devoted. It is an all or nothing kind of stance. Much depends on how prepared you are to deal with the issue of power and its proper uses.

Once the necessary transformations have come about, you then become a powerful catalyst or agent for change in other people. You have the ability to renew and rebuild your life, and can show others how to do the same. You are likely to have penetrating insight and great understanding for others suffering and pain. You are likely to be patient, persevering and reliable, so that you are a great source of strength in times of need. Your likes and dislikes are strongly felt, and there may be a tendency to employ shock tactics in order to make your point. 

Those with Scorpio rising often have very good memories and will not forget a hurt. You may need to develop the capacity to release pent up emotion directed consciously or unconsciously against those you believe have done you wrong. You are likely to be very loyal to loved ones, but will switch off completely if betrayed. In this instance, there will be no looking back once this decision is made, for you tend to be characterized by an all or nothing attitude that is at its most direct where your emotional vulnerabilities are concerned.

Yours is an intense rising sign, with the potential to experience great rewards. You have come to learn the secrets of resurrection and rebirth through experiencing transformation in your own emotional life. Then you have the power to become an incredible agent for change in the lives of other people.

But as intensely as you feel their negative effects, you feel their positive effects as well. And this is amplified in Scorpio Rising. You can feel them enter a room, even before they actually enter the room. Their aura is quite magical. It is one that is clearly blessed but that also says, don’t mess with them. The worst part about it, for them, is they have no idea they have this effect on people. Many people with Scorpio Rising are completely clueless at what they project and why people are the way they are around them.

Sensing there is more than what the eye can see, more ways of operating than what we as humans know, more feeling behind what other’s say, these are the kinds of things Scorpio ascendant people will be astutely aware  of (what is not said – and what is not already known.)

Penetrating the surface to see one’s pains, weaknesses, blockages are a part of their experience and add to the rise and falls – the ‘crises’ one chooses to experience in order to continually shed the outworn, blocked and excess to become more phoenix-like themselves (which happens through every traumatic or intense experience). 

The Scorpio rising has strong, churning emotions that are often kept concealed. There's an intensity to your personality that makes you intimidating. Nobody trifles with you, or they soon learn not to! You are highly intuitive, and read a situation on many levels before acting. Sometimes you hold back, allowing others to reveal themselves and their true motives. You know when to observe and when to strike, and this makes you great at poker or as a negotiator.

You feel a great tension to reconcile your inner contradictions. Sometimes you're cool and aloof, other times you throw your weight around. It's a lifelong lesson to balance your emotions, and present yourself in a way that feels right. You don't want to be at the mercy of anyone. But at times, you can be subtly manipulating. When you wrestle with your own demons, and start to know yourself, you act with greater integrity. The healing you undertake for yourself allows you to help others face their own darkness.

There's something alluring about you, yet others may sense danger. With you, a relationship is all or nothing, and very few win entry into the circle of trust. You can be a hard person to get to know, but a fiercely loyal friend or lover. You have strong sexual appetites, and can become obsessed with whatever grabs your passions. You excel in competition and activities that require strategy. You are a formidable opponent in love or on the playing field.

It is the sign through which an individual must pass in order to come into those transformative crises which turn desire into love and personal will into the Will-to-Good of the Soul.

As great as they are with people they are also extremely privacy conscious, almost to the point of paranoia. Okay, to the point of paranoia. They are deeply mysterious and guarded and tell people nothing, and presume the same of everyone else. They frequently wonder who is trying to hack them or figure them out, and they will open up but rarely. Consider it an honor if a Scorpio opens up to you and respect it well or you will meet the stinger.

No matter how hard I tried, I can’t get you out of my heart and thoughts. So, yes my friend, you will be forever in my heart.

It doesn’t matter how far you are, love is a secret bond that link hearts together.

Do you care enough to be there?

Hide And Seek

Born To Tempt

Astrology of attraction

The position of Mars by sign in a woman's chart does tend to offer some clues as to what she will find attractive in a man. This is because Mars reveals what turns us on to some degree, and represents traditionally masculine qualities.

The reason for treating Venus in men's and women's chart differently is based on the idea that women may tend to "disown" the qualities of Mars in her own chart. Since the energies of Mars have to go somewhere, when a woman doesn't "own", or identify with, her Mars, the energies would be projected onto the men he meets and relates with. Similarly, men are thought to more easily relate to and "own" Mars qualities. 

If a woman's Mars is in Aries, she is often attracted to a strong, independent, and forthright man, perhaps athletic in appearance, but more importantly, direct, confident, and straightforward. Ultra sensitive or shy men are not usually the most attractive men to these women, as they tend to prefer strong and independent types. Men who don't beat around the bush, who state what they want, and who display a certain level of confidence are ideal.

If a woman's Mars is in Taurus, she is often attracted to men who possess a stable, secure, and very strong aura about them. Meat-and-potatoes types are definitely these women's "cup of tea". Unstable, overly intellectual, or "flaky" men are simply not what these women would define "real men". These women like their men simple to please, traditionally masculine,  and strong. They often are especially turned on by men who work with their hands (as opposed to "suits"), men who can build things, and sexually simple but sensual men.  

If a woman's Mars is in Gemini, intelligence ranks very high on her list of ideal qualities in a man. An athletic or tomboyish look, sometimes on the slim side, is often preferred. Wittiness is a huge turn-on for these women. Versatility, liveliness, and playfulness are qualities in men that these women find devastatingly attractive. They're not especially impressed with what they might consider "less evolved" types of men who display more typical, or traditional, masculine traits. Depressed or boring types won't do. These women want to be stimulated, and their brains are their biggest sexual organs.

If a woman's Mars is in Cancer, she may prefer the "sensitive type" of man who is compassionate, sensitive, and protective. These women sometimes are attracted to temperamental sorts, finding moodiness in a man rather intriguing. They want men with "layers" (remember Shrek?). However, they are not into the type of "sensitive" men that Mars in Pisces women are most attracted to. In fact, they generally want men who are strong and traditionally masculine. Generally, these women prefer men who are physically strong or at least look that way--remember that they love to feel protected.

If a woman's Mars is in Leo, she may be attracted to men who are proud, outgoing, and perhaps even gaudy. Aloofness or a dignified, confident aura is usually appealing to these women. These women are more inclined to enjoy men who possess a rather bold, confident manner--and style! Playfulness and fun are very important to these women, and the uptight type or overly serious man is not going to do it for them. Stinginess is a huge turn-off, too. These women want their men generous, dignified, and confident. These women do want their men to be a little possessive and jealous, as it makes them feel more alive, wanted, and attractive.

If a woman's Mars is in Virgo, an appealing man to her is usually an understated, rather simple appearance without too much glamour or ostentatiousness. Healthy, natural, and clean are most appealing physical qualities, and a certain amount of intelligence as well as a modest, sensible approach to life. These women are turned off by men who are overly confident, bossy, or unkind. They are looking for perceptive men who are kind and helpful. Competency is important, but these women aren't big on men who are show-offs. A quietly competent aura is best.

If a woman's Mars is in Libra, she is most attracted to men with understated charm, good manners, and a pleasing and balanced  appearance. Coarseness or rudeness is often a turn-off, and so is independence! These women prefer men who are cooperative and who are willing to please. Romantic men are a huge turn-on, and these women truly appreciate classy sorts.

If a woman's Mars is in Scorpio, a complicated, dark, powerful, and passionate man is the biggest turn-on. This woman wants a man with "layers"--one who has depth and is complicated enough to intrigue her. She is especially attracted to men who ooze sensuality, who are perhaps a little dark and mysterious (even brooding), and who have a magnetic and powerful aura. Intensity is a turn-on for these women--flighty, superficial, and indifferent types need not apply! These women generally do enjoy a certain level of possessiveness in a man

If a woman's Mars is in Sagittarius, she is most impressed with a man who is playful, fun, intelligent, and honest. An energetic, happy aura in a man is often most appealing. Joking around is a must, and a huge turn-on for these women! They want to have a good time, and to have long conversations with their men as well. They are not especially attracted to men who are overly groomed, generally don't like too much "decoration" or men who put on airs.  A tousled, casual appearance is just fine with these women--in fact, it's preferred.  A man's status is not of huge interest to these women--they are looking for honest guys whose egos aren't tied up in what they do for a living or how they look.

If a woman's Mars is in Capricorn, she is generally attracted to competent men, perhaps well-established business types or otherwise accomplished men. She doesn't necessarily go for status, but she does want a man who has an aura of competence about him. She is looking for a certain level of security, and is unimpressed with men who are drifters, irresponsible, or flighty. A stable, directed man with goals in life and a responsible, even serious, attitude to life is important to this woman.

If a woman's Mars is in Aquarius, she can be most impressed by men who are somewhat unconventional or kooky in their choice of clothes and overall style. She wants an interesting man. He can certainly be handsome, but boring? Hardly. A man with a brain is important, although she won't be attracted to a brainy type. Somebody who is perceptive, a little unconventional, and perhaps somewhat aloof is most attractive. Rigid or boring types simply won't do.

If a woman's Mars is in Pisces, she is often impressed with a man who is sensitive, compassionate, and intriguingly complicated. Lacking in confidence is just fine, and so is a touch of helplessness. A "starving artist" type may be appealing, or a man who is downtrodden in some way, as these women enjoy men who have a distinct soft side. The strong, independent types are not turn-ons for these women.


Venus in Leo

When Venus in Leo people are in love, they are proud, even boastful. This position of Venus can turn humble Virgo Suns or retiring Cancer Suns into somewhat demanding lovers. Venus in Leo loves to court and be courted, and they need to feel very special. They are warm, generous, and even grand. Though really quite loyal to their partners (remember that love is THE most important thing in Leo's life), they thrive on attention from the opposite sex. Be prepared for their displays: they will tell you about any advances members of the opposite sex make on them. Remember, they're just showing off to you, and it's likely harmless. It's a different story if you do the same, however. That's when you'll hear the lion roar...and, no doubt, you'll want to keep these cats purring. Venus in Leo wants to appear experienced in love, even if they have little or no experience whatsoever!

Venus in Leo men and women have high expectations, but once you know that these expectations revolve only around how much attention you are giving them, you'll see that they are really quite big-hearted about most everything else. They are threatened by a relationship that appears to have settled too much, or one that's lost its spark. They are also threatened by indifferent or impersonal behavior on your part. 

Although their needs for physical expression through sex are generally quite strong, their need for love is perhaps even stronger. It is hard for Venus in Leo people to separate love and sex, and even their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and affection. For this reason, few Venus in Leo folk would last long in a relationship that is mostly sexual. On the flip side, they may last longer in a love-only relationship in the absence of satisfying sex, but they are unlikely to feel very satisfied.

Pleasing Venus in Leo involves paying loads of attention to them. If you're willing to make only one adjustment in your ways, it should be to remind Leo how wonderful they are. Respect and appreciate them, always. Put up with their childlike moments and their tall tales. They want to be seen as attractive by you, so avoid (at all costs!) putting them down in this area. They actually lose interest when they perceive the slightest loss of interest in their partner, and you can expect that any letdown will be acted out in a dramatic fashion. Remind them, in a gentle way, that your emotions count too. If you are feeling a little jealous, let them know. Remember, to Venus in Leo, your small jealousies are affirmations that you find them attractive and expect the rest of the world to as well. Let them decide where to go on a date, and let them pay too. When Venus in Leo feels loved and appreciated, they reward you with loyalty, a big sense of fun, and plenty of physical expressions of their love.

Cancer Traits

I've found Cancer Mercury sometimes *sound* rational (a ploy not unlike a crab waving his claws at you to tell you to stand back)but if you challenge their reasoning, they retreat quickly or make passive-aggressive attacks in self-defense. The two MAIN Cancer self-defense tactics are 1) being dismissive and 2) being sarcastic (both traits Cancer shares with its polarity Capricorn). These traits are far worse (it seems) if the Cancer Mercury has a lot of air in their chart, or has strong Mercurial influence otherwise.

One rather admirable trait - at least for me - that stems paradoxically from Cancer Mercury's inability to be direct, is these people often have a great, if not quirky, sense of humor. Just be watchful - they often resort to humor as a indirect way of expressing how they really think without risking being offensive. Some Cancer Mercury's can border on being vicious and mean int heir humor if they have a lot of repressed anger.

And lastly, because Cancer Mercury's prefer to understand through intuition, these people do have a great knack for feeling people out. It helps them cope with Mercury in Cancer's shortcomings (often helping smooth out the rifts caused by their sarcastic/dismissive self-defensive tendencies). This is an immensely sympathetic placement, and may be a little psychic in some people. Of course, in very insecure Cancer Mercury's this becomes another self-defense - they think they *always* know about other people, not realizing, like with any Cancer placement, what they sense is always colored by their own mood and emotions. In other words, it's often OK to take their judgement, even if seemingly accurate at first, with a grain of salt.


It may also be mentioned that the effect of Cancer is to make Mercury sway to the purely passive side. The mind is unusually impressionable, and though the inscriptions thereupon be “writ in water,” yet for the moment they sway the native. There is little real stability in the mind, and yet it falls easily into habit, which may be obstinate if subjected for long periods to a single stress. The position inclines to mental idleness, and any powerful will can easily obtain dominion over the mind of the native by appealing to the senses rather than by argument, which arouses obstinate resistance. All this being peculiarly contrary to the best attributes of mind, we must regard Cancer as one of the less fortunate positions for Mercury.

Another thing with Cancer Mercury is difficulty being direct in communication. You can discuss something with them for hours and never really know what they're thinking about it. Cancer is naturally passive-aggressive - it's priority is self-protection, even if that means self-concealment. Cancer also prefers understanding through intuition and expression through emotion. This can mean they can unbelievably vague in what they say. Cancer Mercury's aren't fond of thinking in ideas or concepts, so their prone to waffle big time if forced to make more rational, non-emotive choices or if they are pushed to say something they *feel* is harsh or blunt (like the truth, for example).


Often thought of as infuriating, Cancer women are rather… misread. It is best that before you proceed with your plans of seduction understand that they need to be understood. At ALL times. They need a partner who is going to understand that they are moody by nature. Though it may sound like they are upset with you, they are simply venting in general. They are sensitive but not only with themselves but to those around them. Some would rather not put the work in and that is fine with them. They are one of those signs that doesn’t need, they have to want.

A Cancer woman is very cut and dry; you can take them or leave them. That being said, it does not mean she is void of passion or emotion. It is quite the contrary. She may just as well be too passionate and emotional. She feels her way through life’s decisions and does not look back. So in order to seduce her, she needs to be in the mood. If she is in no mood to date, you won’t get to even knock on her door.

So how do you get your Cancer woman in the mood? Be direct with your intent. She wants a partner who is not needy or greedy. For all her shyness and general reserve, she admires and appreciates a partner who is confident and forthcoming. If you are less than that and she finds out, you are cut off completely and irrevocably. Once a Cancer woman decides to have a partner in their life, whether it is a booty call situation or a relationship, they take it seriously. They like parameters and would rather not have them changed without being mutually agreed upon.

She will have no problem leaving you behind. It sounds harsh and it is but for all that coldness, they have a burning desire. Cancer women are romantics. Once you get past their crab shell exterior, their interior is a sweet inferno. They love romance and eroticism. She wants to be adored, loved and cared for. If you are looking for more than just a “friends with benefits” relationship then do everything you can to appeal to her emotional side. On your dates she needs to feel as if you see nothing but her. She needs to be secure in knowing that when she is with you, there is nowhere else you would rather be. Slipping in a few white lilies or roses as you are dating will always gain you their favor. Trust me; you want to gain their favor.

Cancer women are about the thought behind the action rather than the action itself. You happen to have purchased a silver bracelet with moons on because she mentioned her natural affinity towards the celestial object. You have shown her you paid attention to what she says. You leave her a good morning note on her car after a date, and it shows you think about her. You surprise her with a candlelight dinner at your place and she will know you want her to get comfortable because you are not going anywhere. The effort will have gained her trust and make her want to be with you more.

She has a somewhat traditional view of dating. She would love to be properly courted. Though do not be surprised if she makes you chase her time and time again. It is how she weeds out the jerks and losers from the keepers. They get fed up and leave. A Cancer woman looks at each potential suitor as a potential partner, a permanent partner. No, she does not expect you to immediately marry her but she would like to know that if she wanted to you would.

She will not expect you to want to marry her so soon in your relationship but you just might find yourself wanting to. Once you gain the affections of a Cancer woman you may not want to leave. They have a both a domestic and maternal streak. No, she will not mother you but you will never have to want for anything at home. She will take care of the things you both need and you will wonder how you ever made it without her. Sometimes it is at this point where things go wrong for the Cancer woman.

They are so supportive that some are taken advantage. As she slowly lets you in, you will see why those walls were up in the first place. Those who have taken advantage of her have scarred her deeply. The wounds may heal but with a Cancer but those scars never fade. This is why it is important to understand her. It sometimes seems as if she is making you pay for someone else’s discretions but that isn’t the case. She has it in her head that the only person who will protect her is herself.

So yes, a Cancer woman is a little bit of work but once you have her it is worth it. Her passion rivals that of her Cardinal cousin Aries. She can be spontaneous and exciting. She would love deep and erotic love making sessions with kisses that make her head spin. You will never have to worry about her straying, Cancer women are fiercely loyal. She won’t leave you high and dry like others left her.


Do not let harsh reality of her life deter you from wanting to be a part of it. She is certainly not letting it hold her back. She continues to move forward and wants someone to move forward with her. Give her a chance; understand her idiosyncrasies and you will be rewarded. You will have an amazing woman that will give you a life full of content and satisfaction. She will give you a relationship that is as exciting as it is stable. You will know a passion that could felt deep down in your bones and you will never forget how loved you are. So go ahead and crack open her shell then enjoy all the sweetness she has inside.

Goldfrapp

Toxic

Mercury Sign

Mercury in Cancer 

Anyone born with Mercury in Cancer is more comfortable in the realm of emotion than ideas. It’s hard for these folks to separate their hearts from their heads. They have wonderful memories and never forget special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, and graduations. In fact, people with this planetary placement expend most of their intellectual energy toward their nearest and dearest. They’re always thinking about ways to make their loved ones happy, comfortable, and safe. These people always manage to find the perfect gift, and it’s often one that is made with their own two hands.

People that have their natal Mercury in Cancer are very sensitive, and often take off-the-cuff remarks too personally. Take care not to poke fun at their dignity or tease them about their appearance. Anyone with this planetary placement needs to regularly hear they are loved, appreciated, and respected. In exchange, Mercury in Cancer will intuit effective ways to support their friends and family.


Mercury in Cancer is sensitive and withdrawn. They are very thoughtful of others. They are shy and may choose not to talk at all. They may respond slowly, giving the impression of being a deep thinker, which they very well may be. They like to meditate on a problem, and reflect on their experiences.

They are great listeners, and can actually make decisions faster than it appears. Cancer Mercury has a terrific memory, too… especially if it is emotional in nature. They come across as gentle, intuitive, sentimental people. They take things very personally, which can make them appear defensive. At the same time, they can also make you feel protected and warm. They can appear to be hiding something even when they are not, which can cause Cancer Mercury some trouble.

Mercury in Cancer learns best when they feel balanced emotionally. They can remember a lot of information, though they prefer to focus on a subject and approach their problems step by step. They are empathic and can pick up the feelings of others. They are good at putting themselves in the other person's place.

Cancer Mercury does not like to argue. They will go out of their way to avoid it if possible. At the same time, they are good at starting an argument. They do this very subtly, and then feel hurt when others argue back.

They are attracted to poetry and the romance of yesteryear. Don't be upset if they withdraw for a time when making a decision… it helps them figure out their own opinions on the matter rather than being influenced by others. The dislike distractions and need to focus on matters at hand. They make very good speakers and writers. Mercury in Cancer has a talent for feeling out the audience.

Cancer Mercury is very intuitive. It is not easy for them to be objective. They learn best through experience and are very receptive to subliminal messages. They have a deep appreciation of the past and historical artifacts. They would probably enjoy working in a museum. Mercury in Cancer is loyal and very patriotic.

They are creatures of habit, and a lack of routine is upsetting to them. Mercury in Cancer is very considerate of others, which engenders sympathy and support when they need it. They are very good at giving motherly advice. When they are upset, they tend to sulk. They cannot focus enough at this time to react with practical reasoning. They can be moody and defensive when criticized. Cancer Mercury is talented at reading between the lines, so they are not easily fooled.

They are often called upon to speak at family gatherings because they are in touch with life's deeper meanings. Mercury in Cancer also knows how to draw someone out of their shell when they feel awkward or troubled.


You can bet that Mercury in Cancer natives will remember almost anything -- from their own past, to your conversation two months ago. You might notice their memory is a little skewed in the direction of emotion. The truth is, these people remember the mood surrounding all the moments they have stored in their memory. This is because they "feel you out" when you are talking to them. The words are not as important to them as the emotions behind them.

Cancer communicators come across as gentle, intuitive, and sentimental. Sometimes, they can appear quite defensive, as they can take things quite personally. They make you feel very warm and protected. Sometimes it is in their voice (solid yet soothing); and often it is in the message they are giving. Sometimes Cancer communicators can come across as if they are hiding something, which can get them into more trouble than they perhaps deserve. 

Keynote: Perceptions are communicated sensitively and imaginatively.

Symbol: A poetic recitation stirs the emotions of a crowd.


An excellent memory and imagination is likely, but there is a tendency to look to the past sometimes too nostalgically so that forward thinking and planning can cause apprehension and worry because of having to consider and accept the unknown.

It is important that the individual realizes that the imagination tends to work over-time, all too often negatively, so that when things go wrong (or appear to do so) they are turned from molehills into mountains. A love of the past may be seen in a fascination with history, also long historical /romantic novels or family sagas will be enjoyed or even written. There is usually tenacity, especially when studying, but one may be prone to changing their mind, perhaps mostly when emotional reactions clash with logical thinking and the assessment of situations.

People with Mercury in Cancer can sway the public with their oratory but they need to guard against being so eager to make an impression that they gloss over their own convictions. They may be tempted to say what they think their listeners want to hear or are willing to accept. Thus, they gain a reputation for being opportunistic when in fact they are really only too anxious to please. They need to turn to their own powers of introspection and be completely honest with themselves. Otherwise, their persuasions can too easily be altered by circumstances as they drift like a rudderless sailboat blown hither and thither by every breath of opinion.  

The mind is retentive, especially in matters pertaining to family history and bygone times. An instinctive feeling for the archaic gives an aptitude for dealing with antiquities and an interest in museums. The ability to turn back to the past makes many Mercurial Cancerians natural psychologists. The works of Carl Jung who popularized the idea of the collective unconscious and who wrote extensively on the symbolism of fantasies and dreams, typify this associative mode of thought.

When Mercury is in Cancer, the mind may not be especially original but a compensating psychic permeability permits the absorption of ideas without labored explanations. With the Sun also in Cancer, the intuitive powers are intensified, but they may be denied recognition because of the reticence of the sign.

Mercury in Cancer often gives deep sympathies and a vivid imagination. If such a person hears of a flood or earthquake in some part of the world, they can visualize the havoc created by the disaster and commiserate with the unfortunate victims. In extreme cases, the tendency to dwell upon melancholy images dissipates time and energy through worry about the vicissitudes of others and fear that similar troubles might befall one’s own loved ones. No matter how dauntless a Cancerian may be they are vulnerable where their family, especially their children are concerned. They need to avoid brooding over calamities, past, present, or potential, and to cultivate faith in their own reason and intelligence.

Mercury/Cancer people may not be outstandingly intellectual but they are usually kind and well meaning. They have a tolerance of human frailty based on an ability to sense the mental state of others and to sympathize with their problems and anxieties. They respond to feelings as much as to facts, realizing that if an individual feels something intensely, then this is a legitimate part of their world of reality.

Cancer brings out the passive side of Mercury, making the mind receptive but not always capable of discrimination. There is a liability to be swayed by appeals to the emotions, even against the dictates of common sense. If, however, mental stability and depth of purpose reinforce the innate sensitivity of the Cancerian, they may become the psychologist who studies the art of healing as well as the science of suppressing disease. This integrative kind of psychology does not require degrees or diplomas but may be practiced by anyone who genuinely wants to help others.

Perfect Imperfection

You know you really love something when you can lose yourself in it and what a precious gift you get when you find yourself there, too.

Gemini-Cancer Description

Name of Cusp: The Cusp of Magic

Date Range: June 17 to June 23

Strengths: Fun, flirty, curious, intellectual, affectionate, caring, devoted, sensitive and inspirational.

Weaknesses: Moody, overly emotional, scatterbrained, selfish, depressive and self-destructive.

How Gemini-Cancer energy works together: Gemini's speedy and breezy energy combines with Cancer's slower and more thoughtful nature to create people who are both light and bright. Gemini's restlessness is nicely balanced by Cancer's sensitivity, resulting in a well-rounded soul.

What they love: Great big books about history and philosophy, trying out new recipes, hosting dinner parties and playing with children (after all, they're kids at heart, too).

What they need: Sensitive and affectionate Gemini-Cancer cuspers need someone to love! Without a special someone to nurture, they can become moody or depressed.

Advice: Thicken your skin! Avoid depressive or self-destructive impulses by learning to think  less about your own needs and more about others when the going gets tough.

Natives born under this cusp are both caring and loyal, lighthearted and kind. They find magic in the smallest things in the world around them.
They can find it difficult to control their emotions, as Gemini likes to rely on their intellect and Cancer on emotions, making mood swings inevitable as they try to balance themselves.
This sign is unique in the fact that they are both speedy and able to connect at a deeper level, all at once.

When flirty, social butterfly Gemini combines with caring, sensitive and traditional Cancer it results in something special, which will inspire other people. Caring and devoted, those born on the Gemini-Cancer cusp bring to their world a lighthearted kindness. They are also very expressive and have great imagination. They love to learn and will also generously share what they’ve learned with others.

They can be super-emotional, so they prefer to live their lives surrounded by family and friends and if they have no-one to devote themselves to, this can lead to depression and self-destructive behavior.  But because they are so friendly and gregarious it is rare to find a Gemini/Cancer alone for long.

The energy of Gemini may seem at odds with slower Cancer, but it actually results in someone who, while they can be moody at times, is generally bright and airy and also capable of deep emotional attachments.

Protective of those they love, Gemini/Cancers won’t stand by when they are threatened. They often have many friends and acquaintances and what you see is what you get – their emotional honesty is amongst the strongest in the Zodiac.

This star-sign combination results in individuals who have close family ties with their siblings. They are lovers of people and their varied interests and pursuits make them interesting to converse with. Their strong interest in food and their willingness to always try something new makes them excellent cooks.

One of their strongest attributes is their ability to understand the difficulties of others and what they need to do to work through it. Totally affectionate, the Gemini/Cancer combination makes them among the most caring characters of the Zodiac.


Many Gemini-Cancer individuals are quite able to love from afar; platonic love has a special meaning for them. Others see the possession of the love object as a necessary and blissful consummation, but they, too, are patient in the pursuit. Quiet persistence and a belief in their powers can guarantee them success.

Gemini-Cancer individuals have a tremendous capacity for love but are equally capable of withholding it. No matter how deeply in love they fall, they are masters of their emotions and can consequently be very dangerous people to be involved with. You must listen to them carefully, for although they can give their hearts fully, the fact that they are spending their time with you is no guarantee that they have done so.

Gemini-Cancer individuals are capable of a wide range of personal interaction, from acquaintances and friendships to full-blown passion. Each relationship will have its own structure, including what is and is not allowed in the area of physical contact. Sensitivity to such laws is definitely a prerequisite for the relationship’s future.


"Gemini-Cancers are very thoughtful and require lots of foreplay. They are the HARDEST sign to turn on & the EASIEST sign to turn off."

"Gemini-Cancer can walk away from any situation while still looking it dead in the eye."

"First of all Gemini-Cancers are nymphos ;) They love SEX! And tend to take control!"

"Gemini-Cancer can appear to be Uncaring or withdrawn & most of the time they are. But if they love you, they're just hiding their heart."

"Gemini-Cancers can be Users, but thats OK. Why? Because everyone Uses a Gemini-Cancer. You Get what you Give."

"Gemini-Cancer tends to be very secretive on they're life, not because they are 'afraid' but because, its none of your damn business."